Screw the Money, I Have Rules
by Punk Rock Kitsune
Summary: Seto Kaiba made a bet with Mokuba that he could do something nice and play matchmaker. But, there happen to be rules to this game, and Seto might have to screw his money and follow the rules. And who are the unlucky two who have to put up with him?


**Here I am with another oneshot! This one just screams summer! So, here we go!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! or Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series. Credit goes to Kazuki Takahashi and LittleKuriboh.**

_**Title: **__Screw the Money, I Have Rules_

_**Rating: **__T_

_**Pairing: **__It's a secret! Mwahahahaaa! I'm soooo evil!_

_**Summary: **__Seto Kaiba made a bet with Mokuba that he could do something nice and play matchmaker. But, there happen to be __**rules**__ to this game, and Seto might have to screw his money and follow the rules. And who are the unlucky two who have to put up with him?_

_**This is dedicated to RiverTear980. Thanks for always reviewing my stories, giving me ideas, and making me laugh! I loves you!**_

* * *

><p>"What is it, Mokuba?" Seto asked as his little brother entered his office.<p>

Mokuba smiled deviously as he innocently looked at his older brother.

"Hey Seto, how long has it been since you have been nice to someone? Besides me?" he asked.

"Never." Seto replied bluntly.

"Well, it's summer vacation! There won't be any important business events coming up until September. How about you get some fresh air and sun! Seriously, I'm tanner than you are! You're beginning to look like Edward Cullen." Mokuba was saying.

"And you're point is?" Seto asked, getting annoyed.

"You should go out and be Mr. Sunshine! Do something nice for someone." Mokuba replied.

Seto sniggered. "I'm not a charity, Mokuba."

"True, but you're becoming a raisin in this office all day. Besides Seto, if you don't do it, I have a blackmail plan that would ruin you." Mokuba told him.

Seto couldn't help but give Mokuba a small proud smile. Mokuba was taking after him in many ways, including with the blackmail. But still, nothing could take Seto Kaiba down.

"That's cute Mokuba, but I have money. No type of blackmail could ruin me." Seto replied.

Mokuba began to smirk. "Oh, but there is!"

Mokuba whispered in Seto's ear, and his eyes widened.

"Mokuba! You wouldn't dare!" Seto cried.

"Hey, I'm your little bro. I would. Now, here are the rules to this game." Mokuba began.

"Screw the rules, I have money!" Seto cried, pointing at Mokuba.

"Screw the money, I have rules. Now, listen up!" Mokuba told him.

For the next few minutes, Mokuba explained to Seto what to do, who was wincing with every word.

"You mean I have to play _matchmaker_? On those two of all people? One's a lunatic, and the other is a cheerleader!" Seto cried.

"Look, those two have been keeping their feelings secret from each other for too long, so I want you to set them up. It's a nice thing, but in a sneaky way. Besides, it'll be more memorable if you did it." Mokuba smirked.

"No, it wouldn't." Seto snapped.

"Oh, and one more thing," Mokuba added. "When they are together, you can't be sneaking around wearing a suit or leather. You have to be in disguise."

"Are you serious? What is this, an episode of D.N. Angel?" Seto asked.

"Close, but no cigar. Anyways, get going! I found the perfect attire for you to get started." Mokuba said, grinning evilly.

Seto trudged to his room to find a pair of blue basketball shorts, a black T-shirt, and flip flops. Seto Kaiba wearing _flip flops. _Obviously he had done something to make karma go against him.

"You cannot be serious, Mokuba! I can't go out there looking like mutt-face on a bad day!" Seto shouted.

"I heard dat, rich boy!" Jounouchi shouted from a distance.

"I asked the opinion of my friends Shizuka and Otogi, and they said that this would bring sexy back." Mokuba replied.

"Sure, ask a girl who isn't in high school yet and a guy who's as masculine as Pegasus. They certainly are reliable sources." Seto replied sarcastically.

"Not to mention that I asked your fashion designers. Now, get dressed!" Mokuba grinned, leaving Seto.

Seto mumbled obscenities as he dressed in the offensive clothing. After he did this little game of Mokuba's and made sure that his blackmail is muffled forever, he was going to kill him. Seto found a pair of black sunglasses and sunscreen under the black T-shirt. There was a little note attached to the sunscreen. Seto placed the sunglasses above his eyes, and read the note.

_Make sure you get a tan by the time you come back home!_

_Mokuba_

"If he wasn't my brother…" Seto muttered, crumpling the note.

He stormed out of his mansion, not even bothering to use the limo. Mokuba said that would "draw too much attention". The sun shone in Seto's face a bit too much, so he placed the sunglasses over his eyes. Mokuba said that "Target 1" would be at the Kame Game Shop, and "Target 2" would be in the park. Seto briskly headed towards Yugi's grandpa's game shop, anxious to get this over with. Seto rarely lost a game, and he wasn't going to let a little bet ruin it now.

* * *

><p>Anzu was leaning against the counter in the Kame Game Shop, fanning herself. Yugi and Sugoroku Mutou had left for a few minutes, and Anzu was left in charge over the game shop until they got back. So far, there weren't any customers on this hot summer day. Who would want to buy Duel Monsters cards when you could be at the pool or outside playing baseball?<p>

Just then, a tall teen Anzu's age walked in. He had on sunglasses, a black T-shirt, blue shorts, and flip flops. He looked pretty handsome.

"Welcome to the Kame Game Shop! Mr. Mutou is currently out right now, but how can I help you?" Anzu asked sweetly.

"It's me you fool." the guy snapped.

"Warrgh! Kaiba! Why are you here, dressed like _that_?" Anzu cried, jumping backwards.

Seto began to angrily tell her why, but remembered that one of Mokuba's rules stated that he could not tell anyone about the bet.

"Just shut up and listen. Be at the Domino Amusement Park at one o'clock sharp. There will be a surprise there for you." Seto explained quickly.

"But why are you-?"

"That is all. _Be_ there. Oh, and bring your bathing suit" Seto said sternly, the last part said really fast before leaving.

"Kaiba, wait a second!" Anzu cried.

Seto was already gone.

Anzu just stood there, confused. _What was that all about? First he dresses like a normal teenager for once, and then orders me to go to an amusement park? I think the sun has gotten to his head._

Anzu checked her watch. It was twelve o'clock.

"Well, Yugi and Grandpa should be back any second now. I'd better get ready."

* * *

><p>Seto hurried to the park to find "Target 2" He was sitting on a park bench with his eyes closed. Seto walked up to him and said harshly "Wake up, sleeping beauty."<p>

The white haired teen growled at the intruder. "Get out of my face, Kaiba. And what the hell are you wearing?"

"Listen, and listen well, Bakura," Seto said, irritated. "You will be at the Domino Amusement Park at one o'clock. There will be a person waiting there for you. You not showing up means death. Got it? Good. Oh, and bring your bathing suit-er, I mean trunks."

Before Bakura could object, Seto walked away, phase one of his plan complete.

* * *

><p>Anzu arrived to the Domino Amusement Park first. She changed into a black tank top, denim shorts, and red Converse. She put her dark brown hair into a ponytail, and she wore black sunglasses.<p>

_Geez, the weatherman could have warned us that it was going to be blinding with a high of 90º._ Anzu thought.

She looked around for this mysterious person.

Bakura trudged up to the amusement park, extremely pissed. He was wearing a white T-shirt, jean shorts, and light blue Nikes. He also had sunglasses.

_Once I find that spoiled brat, he's going straight to the Shadow Realm!_ he thought.

Then, he saw Anzu looking around for something…or some_one_. Then, he realized what was going on.

_Damn it, that Kaiba set us up! He knows that she's the only person I can tolerate _(Vexshipping fan's translation: he's in love!)_, and so he decided to take advantage of that. That snake! His death will be at my hands!_

Bakura cleared his throat and walked over to Anzu. She looked up at him, her heart skipping a beat, but happy nonetheless.

"Hey, Bakura! Coincidence seeing you here!" she said cheerfully.

This time, Bakura's heart skipped a beat.

"Not really a coincidence. Kaiba told you to be here, didn't he?" Bakura asked.

Anzu nodded slowly, seeing what Bakura was getting at.

"He set us up for a reason, but I don't know what. So, let's just go in." Bakura said, gesturing towards the amusement park.

* * *

><p>Seto quickly changed outfits in a bush. Mokuba sent him off with several disguises.<p>

"This is ridiculous." Seto muttered as he threw on a blond wig and green contacts.

Seto then put on a skater outfit that consisted of a 30 Seconds to Mars band T-shirt, black skinny jeans, and black and red Vans. Seto hurried in front of Anzu and Bakura. He quickly paid for his ticket, Anzu and Bakura's ticket, and entered the amusement park.

When Anzu and Bakura walked up to the ticket window, the lady said "You're tickets are paid for. The generous person got you two the Lovebird Tickets, which grants you entrance to any of the couple rides at any time, ahead of the others waiting in line. Have fun! And use protection!"

Bakura and Anzu looked bewildered as the lady ushered them into the park.

"Okay, even the people who work here are weird!" Anzu told Bakura.

"No kidding." Bakura replied.

Then, a random blond skater walked up to the two teens.

"Hey…dudes." the guy said forcefully.

"Um, yes?" Anzu asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Water Slide Mountain has no people in the Lovebird Ticket line, so you guys better hurry! Besides, I heard that the speed going down is faster than last year."

With that last sentence, Anzu's eyes sparkled, completely forgetting about the creepy skater.

"Let's go, Bakura! Water Slide Mountain is one of my favorite rides! And the fact that it's even faster makes it better!" Anzu dragged a protesting Bakura towards Water Slide Mountain.

* * *

><p>Seto changed from his skater disguise into a prep. He had to wear a brown polo shirt tucked into khaki pants, had to wear brown loafers, purple contacts, and a black wig.<p>

"This is slightly more repulsive than the skater getup." Seto said, looking at how ridiculous he looked.

He hid in some stalls in the changing area next to Water Slide Mountain to see when Bakura and Anzu were changed.

Bakura came out first wearing red swimming trunks, and waited by the stall next to Anzu's. Then, Anzu came out with a light blue bikini on. If Bakura didn't have any self-control, he would've had a nosebleed right in front of her.

"Let's go!" Anzu smiled, grabbing Bakura's hand.

Seto then hurried to the Water Slide Mountain operator. He paid the guy big bucks to make the water current much faster for Anzu and Bakura.

When Anzu and Bakura got in the life preserver, Anzu was pushed up against Bakura's junior on a leash…barely on a leash. When the ride began. Anzu was crying out in happiness by how fast the ride was going. Her arms flung in the air like you do on a rollercoaster. Bakura grabbed Anzu around the waist when it looked like she was about to fall off.

"Don't tell me you're scared, Bakura! No need to hold me like you wet your pants!" Anzu shouted teasingly back at Bakura.

Bakura looked insulted, but just scoffed at her obliviousness.

After the ride concluded, Bakura was dizzier than a top. Anzu laughed as she grabbed hold of both his hands.

"Who knew that the King of Thieves could get sick off a water ride!" she said.

"Shut up and get me to the changing stalls." Bakura snapped.

Seto changed into his leather biker outfit as he continued to spy on Bakura and Anzu. They seemed to have forgotten about why they were here. Seto spotted them at a game stall. Anzu was shooting basketballs in the net, and managed to get eight out of ten baskets.

"Look, Bakura! I won an Obelisk the Tormentor plushie!" Anzu squealed.

_Now I'll sit here and pretend I don't have a boner._ Kaiba thought as he stared at the plushie.

* * *

><p>Anzu and Bakura were having a wonderful time, and soon it was five o'clock. Seto had one last thing to do before calling it a day. He changed into his final costume-as a J-rocker. He put on a red and black wig, dark brown contacts, a black and pink LM.C band T-shirt, pink skinny jeans, with a black chain, and white and pink Converse.<p>

"Oh god, I look like a gay version of Daisuke Niwa." Seto muttered, praying to God that no one knew this was him.

He ran up to Anzu and Bakura just before they decided to go home.

* * *

><p>A weird J-rocker started to run up to Bakura and Anzu.<p>

"Um…can I help you?" Anzu asked, a bit freaked.

Bakura grasped Anzu's hand tightly, making sure that this guy didn't do anything funny.

"Like, oh my gosh, you two! You guys didn't go on the Tunnel of Love! Like OMG! The Lovebird Ticket requires you to go on it before you left! Like follow me!" the apparently gay guy cried in a high pitched voice.

_Ugh, that was totally forced._ Seto thought as he dragged a scared Anzu and a pissed Bakura to the Tunnel of Love.

"Here ya are! Now, have fun you little loveys!" the J-rocker said before leaving them.

"I thought that guy was going to take us to a corner and rape us." Bakura said, looking behind him to make sure he didn't come back.

"I will never come here on a Monday again." Anzu sighed.

It was soon their turn to get on the boat that led them into the Tunnel of Love. Once inside, Anzu and Bakura became nervous, looking around awkwardly. Then, _Can You Feel The Love Tonight _came on, and the two teens looked at each other. Then, they burst out laughing.

"That song came on it seemed like at the perfect time!" Anzu cried.

_This is my chance!_ Bakura thought to himself.

"Hey Anzu, there's something I want to tell you." he began.

"Yeah?" Anzu replied, her heart beating faster.

"…I like guys."

Anzu mouth dropped open I shock. Just when Anzu raised her hand to slap his arm, Bakura caught her hand and grasped it like it was his lifeline. Then, his face got closer to hers.

"…just kidding." he whispered on her lips.

Just when the chorus to the song played, Bakura let go of her hand and captured Anzu's lips in his. Anzu wrapped his arms around his neck and fully kissed him back. Bakura possessively moved his mouth against hers, and then his tongue poked at her closed lips. Anzu shyly opened her mouth and ran his tongue along his. Bakura swirled his tongue against hers, and they started to lean back into the boat.

"Keep it clean, kids." a lady said over the intercom.

They immediately jumped off of each other, glaring at the speakers.

"Hey, don't look at me like that. I told you to use protection, but not use it on the Tunnel of Love." the lady told them.

As soon as the ride was over, Bakura took Anzu into his arms, and carried her home, gently kissing the evening away.

* * *

><p>Seto returned home, still in his J-rocker disguise. He immediately found Mokuba in his room.<p>

"There, I won your little game. Now, I've done the only nice thing I'm going to do for the rest of the year." Seto snapped.

Mokuba giggled at Seto's getup. 'I spy with my little eyes something beginning with gay clown." he smirked.

"MOKUBA!" Seto shouted.

Mokuba laughed and ran out of the room, Seto right on his heels.

And what was the secret that Seto didn't want let out? He has a furry costume for his Blue Eyes White Dragon plushie.

_**Finis**_

**Whew! That was fun! I enjoyed taking a break from my usually dramatic stories. So, how was it? Should I stick to drama? Was this good? Should this be sent to the Recycle Bin? And right click on Empty Recycle Bin or else it would just be taking up unnecessary space? I have no idea! Well, that's it from me! Ja ne!**


End file.
